I remember the day I had my first panic attack. At that time though, I did not realise that it was a panic attack that I am experiencing. I must say though that overall I am an extremely anxious person. But this feeling, this was different than my routine anxiety.
It was a couple of years later, when I was going through a particularly bad phase of my mental health that I started doing some research. I was reading up on mental health and it dawned on me. Okay! So that was a panic attack and not a mini heart attack as I had feared.
A bit about Me
It was a new phase of my life and I was coming to terms with the many new changes. Being an introverted person, many things that are very easy for most people are exceptionally hard for me. New social settings, introduction and interaction with unknown people are tough for me. On top of all that I am extremely head strong. You can say, unreasonably so.
The first time
Now getting to the story of my first panic attack. There was a party after office. A party that I absolutely did not want to go to because I did not like the person for whom the party was thrown. But because of social niceties, and “ what will people think if we don’t go” and all that, I somehow managed to make my mind agree to be an adult, and just show up. Alas! That understanding did not reach my poor little heart! I got dressed up and ready for the show.
We were on way to the venue in our car, and suddenly I could not breathe. It started to feel like somebody had a vice like grip on my throat and chest and no air could pass. I was rushed to the emergency of the nearest hospital. My blood pressure was 180/120. I got injected with a medicine and gradually I got my breath back. Now to give some background, I did have a problem with my B.P which was normally under control with regular medicine. Even the doctor could not say exactly what was the reason for that sudden attack. Finally I calmed down, B.P was normalised and we obviously could not make it to the party.
How I try to Cope
Gradually over the years as I have struggled with my anxiety, I have realised that its very important to be conscious about your own emotional wellbeing. Anxiety and panic are like rust. They are born from ones own mind but eat away the soft and delicate parts of a soul. So its important to guard yourself against this rust. Something is not feeling right, don’t do it.
Whenever I push myself too much for something that I am not comfortable with or am pushed by situations out of my control, my health suffers. Both mental and physical. Nobody can do it for you. You have to be the guardian of your own mind and keep planting good thoughts, watering them regularly and removing the weeds of bad thoughts systematically. This helps me to keep the panic attacks at bay and function smoothly through the vagaries of life.
Why I wrote this post?
I decided to write this post to highlight the positive changes in mental health trends over the past years. There is a significant lowering of stigma around discussions related to mental health. Judgement is still there but now people are at least talking about these issues which haunt most of us. Hope this will help somebody get through their difficult phases.
Adios with some of my beautiful flowers which remind me that life is truly a blessing!
This post is a part of CauseaChatter and Blogchatter Half Marathon
Thankfully, I have never personally experienced a panic attack. But, I have been there when others experienced them- and it’s very scary if one does not first recognize it is not a cardiac event.
Thanks for sharing your story.
It was brave of you to share this. What you have said is very true, we have be aware of our own health, be it physical or mental. Loved the video and the music. Be well.
I admire your courage and spirit. You are an inspiration to many.
Thank you Sandhya 😊
You are brave for surviving and sharing this with us
I can relate to your story, as an introvert with a history of anxiety. I have found deep breathing exercises to be one tool that helps me get grounded, as well as help with falling asleep easier if done right before bedtime. Wishing you well.
Yes, we have come a way in mental health stigma and treatment. There is so much more to grow. Thank your for posting your story and showing how to be your own advocate.
The responsibility of self care is the biggest one of all.You are definitely on a self healing path.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Ginia. I am sure just your presence and writing are offering help to a lot of people.
How brave of you to talk about this. My mother had a panic attack after earthquake hit us and we, as kids, saw her and understood it’s gravity. Glad you got over it.
There is a clock inside all of us, and it always give loud alarms to warn us that we need to take care of ourselves from time to time. Hopefully you are taking good care of yourself now. your post should be an eye opener for us.
Like the comparison of anxiety & panic with rust & the ways you suggested to cope with them.
great
grt
A very accurate description here — thank you for exploring this with your readers; it will no doubt help others experiencing the same.