Expectations are at the root of all disappointment. I have realised that if I expect less or in fact keep no expectations from people then I stay happier. It is my major hack for wellbeing. The famous stoic philosopher Epictetus said “Who then is invincible? The one who cannot be upset by anything outside their reasoned choice.”
So basically reasoned choice are the things that I have some semblance of control over. Things that depend on me. How others will behave, their level of empathy or understanding is something over which I have no control. So I try not to let such things bother me. However that is something which is much easier to say than practice in daily life.
Being an introvert this process makes me repress my emotions even more . That can take a huge emotional toll.I often find myself down in the dumps due to my perception of other people’s behaviour. I feel alienated by my own thoughts whenever I look outside of myself for emotional validation.
A major part of adulting is taking a self taught course about what not to expect. I have evolved a lot in this journey and hope to keep learning more in this process called life.
A few things that help me gather some direction for my pent up emotions are;
- 1.Reading
- 2.Focusing on stoic philosophy.
- 3. Writing.
- 4. Nature activities like gardening.
- 5. Talking with a trusted person.
The last point is a bit tricky though. Often I find myself talking but with filters because too much truth makes the audience uncomfortable. If you find yourself grappling with this rollercoaster of what to expect and what not to, try focussing on writing your feelings down. It gives a sort of immediate relief without any heartbreak. Also you don’t get to listen to sanctimonious “ I told you so’s” that we often get treated to from our near and dear ones.
I’m participating in #BlogchatterA2Z” and this is the “W” post.
